My journey through the dating jungle of Boston and looking good while doing it.
Archive for June, 2009
Dating Warriors: 1st Trimester Report
Jun 10th
As we move into summer Green, Purple, and Yes me Goldie decided to reflect on the first trimester of dating. (A little late but better than never.) We have laid low in the dating scene due to being busier than ever but don’t fret miei amici we shall resume our dating adventures very soon. First, lets take a look back at all we have learned, done, and will never do again.
(No Ratings Yet)
Loading ...
Ms. Green: Dating is a part time job
Jun 10th
Dating is a part-time job. It takes a lot of effort and time to weed through online profiles, email potential dates, set up a phone call, and arrange the first date. Then there’s the first date preparation: at least 2 hours of grooming and primping and deciding what to wear. And then there is the date itself. If it’s a great one, you never want it to end. If not, you’re trying to figure out how fast you can possibly get out of it. I’ve been on 10 first dates and here is what I’ve learned so far:
*Have a phone call before you meet him. It will give you a better sense of his personality and will make you feel more comfortable when you meet.
*Don’t go out with guys that don’t show any teeth in their online photos. It’s because they have a gap tooth.
*You can ask someone out via text. Apparently that’s just what happens. Don’t fight it, just go with it. You can also reject someone via text if that’s how they’ve been communicating with you. It’s so easy!
*If he doesn’t call you after the first date, it really is because he’s not interested. Don’t call him – just move on.
*A gentleman does open doors for you.
*First impressions are everything. DO shower and look and smell your best – and watch your table manners.
*A coffee date is fantastic – you can always extend the date if you’re into him. Why not try a brunch date?
*Give the guy a chance and don’t overanalyze everything. It’s just a first date – you’re not marrying the guy!
And here is a list of what I need to work on in my next dates:
*I need to figure out how to get out of bad dates better. I don’t want to be impolite, but if I know it’s going nowhere, there is no need to stick around.
*I’m bored with the dinner or dinner/drinks date. I want to go on more creative first dates and would love any suggestions.
*The online dating route introduces you to a lot of people outside your social circle, but I’m having a hard time finding guys that have similar interests as me. Why can’t I just find a guy that wants to drink a cold beer and watch a game? (Maybe that’s more of a rant than something I can work on?)
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...
Ms. Purple: The Next Tucker Max, Nah
Jun 10th
Time out. It’s been an interesting four months. I’ve met and corresponded with some unique men that just couldn’t quite make it to the first date:
-Man who followed me out of the Metro with all his belongings and asked me if I wanted to join him for something to eat as he was just kicked out of his apartment by his roommate.
-Different man who answered my Missed Connections ad off of Craigslist to man previously described above as my co-worker suggested that he could have been my “true love”. (Her favorite movie is Greencard and thinks that true love should be a “parcels crashing” story.) Highly doubted it, but sent out CL ad anyway. Got two responses.
-Normal-sounding law student who was moving to CA where it took an hour of chatting with him before realizing he was a submissive. (He asked if he could be my pet and I joked he could sleep at the foot of my bed. It went downhill from there as he was secretly pleased and then realized he had a foot fetish.)
My experience has yielded good dates, horrific dates, fantastic dates, so-so dates, and repeated dates where I’ve genuinely gotten to like the person the more I saw them.
That’s why sometimes I feel so torn about this project. The guys I date don’t know about my 30 dates for the year; I imagine they wouldn’t be too pleased about me writing about them, then posting it to the world. If the tables were turned, not only would I be pissed, I’d be out to slash their tires.
And yet, I continue to forge on. Whenever I start to lose my nerve, my good friends call me back to bolster my dating spirit.
Ms. Green: “You’re not writing to disrespect, you’re writing to understand how the dating process works.”
Ms. Gold: “You’re not Tucker Max, Purple. When was the last time you wrote about how many times you’ve gotten blown in a bathroom in one night?”
And they’re right. This project is about dating. I’m writing about my successes and failures, and everything in between. Who knows if Red, Goldie, Green or I will even get to finish 30 dates. What if I find true love at Date 17?
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...
Ms. Gold: Lessons Learned
Jun 10th
I have had a total of 5 first dates. Not as many as I would have liked, but it is something. What did I learn my first 4 months in my dating adventure? A whole lot actually.
He was cute, 2 inches shorter than me, made me go dutch on the meal, and tried to hold my hand afterwards. Opposite lifestyles: he is happy on a tractor with an Ipod and I am happy with a credit card trying on Fendi heels.
Lesson Learned: You definitely should not change for a guy . A kiss now and then is fine from a guy, but don’t waste your time with a guy you really don’t want.
He was a lot older than me, 3 inches taller, paid for the evening, and ate popcorn disgustingly during the film. No chemistry and no interest on my end.
Lesson Learned:
1. Make sure you really like a guy before you enter a movie theater with him. He might ruin the experience.
2. Accept appearance does matter. I don’t expect the guy to show up in a Tom Ford shirt and diesel jeans or even know who the designers are, but when your clothing looks like you bought it 20 to 30 lbs ago, then it is just a distraction. I can’t concentrate on anything else but trying to redress you in my mind, and sometimes even I can’t get creative enough to make you better.
3. If he brings up War of Witchcraft (or is it World of Warcraft? No matter) as a daily activity, or states “yeah my friends participate in LAIR” or his last girlfriend was 19 years old while he is 38–just know this will never work and try to leave as soon as possible.
4. The block feature is on a dating website for a reason. If he fits the 3 points I just described and still tries to contact you even after you explain you are super busy, HIT THE BLOCK BUTTON. It is a bitchy move but a great resource.
He was cute, an inch taller than me, ambitious, younger, and talented. This was a crash and burn.
Lesson Learned:
1. When a man cooks, and cooks something great, it is an aphrodisiac.
2. Hold off on the heavy liquor until you realize this guy is a great match.
3. I know I like aggressive men who still involve me in the decision making process. Once a man shows he is really too passive. I should just exit.
4. Stop serial dating if lessons 1-3 occurs. He won’t change.
Date #4: Woome.com
Lesson Learned:
Lesson Learned:
Not every site will fit my dating style.
He was cute, 4 inches taller, 1 year younger, and intelligent. He knows as much about fashion as I do. A lot of chemistry but more of a friend.
Lesson Learned:
1. Nice guys do exist
2. If on the first date you know you would make better friends than lovers, it is probably a good idea to move it there.
3. The power of the text. If a guy mainly texts you everyday and rarely calls, know this is most likely not going to last too long. He is putting in too little effort.
4. Go with your gut instinct.
I will take all these lessons and try to double my amount of dates this trimester. My goals:
1. Be more aggressive and start emailing on the dating website more.
2. Expand my search age-wise and height-wise.
3. Plan more first dates, and stop multiple dates.
4. Get a guy who understands my schedule. I have several projects going on. He is just one of them.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...
