My journey through the dating jungle of Boston and looking good while doing it.
Dating Warriors
How we met video
Jan 11th
I saw this video and thought it was cute and proves everything sounds great in French. I want one, but in Italian.
Sous L’Éléphant Rose from Erik Hecht on Vimeo.
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Congratulations: A dating warrior just got engaged
Dec 14th
Dating has paid off and it paid off big for Miz. Green. She recently got engaged. Congratulations and tanti auguri. We couldn’t be happier. Now that she is planning her nuptials we have a pool going of who is next. My money is on Miz. Red.
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Update Wednesday: Where have the dating warriors been?
Dec 2nd
Well, where have we been? Taking long vacations in China, training and raising money for charity, visiting each other, applying to grad schools, celebrating birthdays and running fashion week. Basically, we have been busy. Sprinkling dates in here and there.
Ms. Green has entered into the relationship realm. I met him, and they are adorable together. After 15 dates she has put up her hat, deleted her profile, and snuggled next to him during the football games. She put in a good hard effort into the dating arena and came out on top.
Ms. Red may not have a lot of posts but she has been dating. We are just waiting for her stories. She raised thousands of dollars for charity, bought a new condo, and even traveled around Mexico.
Ms. Gold got caught up with her local fashion week and once it was finished had a difficult time concentrating on anything else. She also has been traveling around the US for the last month, and squeezed in another date. Oh yeah it looks like she will be moving to Boston, MA soon for grad school where she will continue her dating adventure.
Ms. Purple has been a busy bee. She has continued her dating adventures, traveled to NYC and Boston with Ms. Gold, and was in charge of Thanksgiving dinner. Ms. Purple s determined to continue dating until she reaches the magical number of 15. Can she do it?
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Ms. Green Date #14: My Date with Mr. Nice Guy
Dec 2nd
Mr. Nice Guy and I bonded over football–we both went to the same university and we both have season seats to the games. I’ve been ranting to my friends that it’s been so hard to find a guy that’s into the game as much as I am. It felt great to finally meet someone who shared that particular interest! We emailed a bit and talked on the phone prior to our first date.
We met at a tapas restaurant in the city for drinks. First impression, he had gorgeous, golden brown eyes and a great smile. One drink turned into three and we also ordered dinner. I had to dub him Mr. Nice Guy because he just seemed so well-rounded. He has a good job, good friends, likes to be social and hang out with people, and he just seemed like a nice person. There’s nothing wrong with nice! He picked up the tab for our date and I offered to give him a lift home as he didn’t have his car. He politely refused, saying that it was out of my way, but I insisted since I’m originally from L.A. and I don’t care much for public transportation. I dropped him off and leaned in for a hug.
He texted me to make plans for a second date the following week. We met up on my side of the bay to catch one of the hockey playoff games. We had more drinks and dinner and enjoyed watching the game together. It felt just as easy and comfortable as the first date. He walked me to my car and then joked about me giving him a lift to his car. I thought it was cute, so I gave him a lift to his car a few blocks away. I pulled up next to his car and this time he leaned in and gave me a very sweet and soft kiss. I threw my car into park but we didn’t kiss too long because I was worried about getting hit from behind. We were on a busy street!
We made plans for a third date the following week, but work got in the way. We decided to postpone it until I got back into town (I was going to be gone for 10 days for work). We texted while I was out of town about what we were up to, comments on the hockey and basketball finals, etc. I called him the day after I got back into town and never heard from him again. I guess he just wasn’t that into me, but that one was hard to swallow. I definitely was interested in getting to know him better and I was disappointed that it ended like that.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Ms. Purple Date #10: The Doctor
Dec 2nd
The doctor was my first date using match.com. We had lunch at the Farmer’s Market and it was pleasant: nice getting-to-know-you conversation, mainly about food. He was coming from a science background, and mine was in the arts, so our gastronomic exploits were all that we had in common. We got some ice cream and chatted more in front of the A&F store, where he chivalrously gave me the chair that had the view of the live topless male model with an 8-pack nonchalantly leaning against the doorway for $8 an hour. We talked about his life as a doctor, and the craziness I deal with in the non-profit art world, then I had to leave because of work (and no, it was not a made-up excuse).
As a person I thought he was very nice. Mild-mannered. Vanilla. Not dull exactly, but he was holding back on his personality. I tried to get some good stories out of him- what was the craziest thing you saw when you opened up your patient? Do you practice on animal parts before operating on humans? I got textbook answers, literally. Were there sparks? Possibly– I’m not really sure. I did like him; there was something attractive about him. But all I know is, if we were to be a couple, I would be the fun one. I would definitely go out with him as a food buddy and see what happens, but I’m not sure if that’s what he is looking for. Honestly, if you’re willing to pay to meet people online, I don’t think you’d want to settle for just friends.
I know some people might think it would be great to nab a doctor for a boyfriend, but after also having listened to Green’s experience with a doctor[hyperlink to green date #?], I’ve come to realize something about dating men in this profession: you have to be okay with their work coming first. Doctors work incredibly long hours and being on call during weekends means you can’t be more than 10 miles away from the hospital should an emergency arise. Of course this can’t be said for all doctors, but it was true for this one. My date told me he only gets sushi on the West side as opposed to Little Tokyo/downtown because it’s closer to his work. Some doctors also have to work on weekends too, so if you’re clingy, I’d consider getting a goldendoodle before hooking up with a doc. But I love the fact that doctors help people. It’s a tough call; I think I need to date more doctors before I can form a real opinion. Come to think of it, Red also dated a doctor. We’ll have to get more insight when she shares her story.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Ms. Green Date #15: My Date with Mr. Right
Dec 2nd
I winked at him online and he emailed me the next day suggesting a walk around the lake where we live and drinks at my local dive bar. Two of my favorite things. When he first walked up, I was instantly attracted to him. His online pictures did not do him justice and his killer smile warmed my heart. He was easy to talk to and the conversation flowed easily as we took the hour walk around the lake. His good impression increased as we discussed his passion for music, sports, his family, and his job. I felt giddy during our entire date and was so excited and impressed by him. He walked me home, gave me a hug, and said I would be hearing from him soon.
He texted me the next day and casually invited me out that night to the city. I already had plans, but we decided to meet up on the weekend. He called me later to arrange that date. He picked me up on Saturday night and we drove to the restaurant. On our way, it had rained slightly and the sun was just going down. Two full rainbows appeared in the sky, and I can’t help but think that it was a good omen. We had dinner in a casual spot and then went to a pinball lounge that had vintage and new pinball machines. It was awesome and so much fun! The lounge was for all ages and didn’t have a bar, but he came prepared with a six-pack that we drank in his car. This was my type of guy!
Our first kiss was on our third date – another walk around the lake and another one of my local bars – it was sweet and left me wanting more. I have been seeing him nonstop for the past several weeks and I don’t want to date anyone else. I am so happy to spend time with him and I count the hours until I see him next. I’m walking around all day with a cheesy grin on my face and I can’t stop thinking about him. This is what it’s all about.
We’ve decided to date exclusively and we have both taken down our online profiles. I am absolutely crazy about him and hopeful of what the future holds for us. I set a goal of 30 first dates, but this constant over-achiever is going to fail to reach that goal. Mr. Right came in at #15 and has blown me away.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...UpDate Wednesday:Online Dating 101: What I do Know
Jul 22nd
Today for UpDate Wednesday we have our first guest blogger, KB from KB in NYC. She is documenting her dating adventures and has written a summary of what she has learned so far in the online dating world. I agree with her analysis 100%. I have even made some changes to my profile to improve the quality of men that respond to me.
make sure to check out her blog KB in NYC.
Online Dating 101: What I do Know
Some of you may or may not have heard about the dude who is suing Match.Com for sending ‘emails into thin air’ and apparently suffering “humiliation and disappointment” as a result. This story really is precious.
Although the general consensus seems to be that this guy is a loser, that’s not to say that he doesn’t have a point. For one thing, a lot of these dating sites are full of BS and yes, you are sending emails out into an abyss of dating nothingness. I think there is a lot of evidence to suggest this. But I don’t want to get into that here. No, I want to focus on the ‘humiliation and disappointment’ part because people I have lived it. Like hello, I’m fabulous and I’m still not getting asked out online. What’s wrong with you men?
According to dating expert extraordinaire Simone Grant, “It’s NOT you honey, it’s your profile”. Umm, okay. That doesn’t make up for the last year where I hotlisted, winked and emailed anybody vaguely man-like and, more often than not, got no response back. Yeah, talk about a great-big-black dating hole. But the thing is, what makes this worse than poor Mr. Match-Fucked-Me-Over-Loser-Dude, is that the guys I’ve been communicating with ARE real; they’re just not wanting to date moi. And how do I know this? Because these same guys then email and/or date my roommate, or my friend A or my colleague L. Clearly, we are all fishing in the same pond and clearly some people are having better luck than others. I’m just saying.
So, what exactly was wrong with my profile? For one thing, in its latest incarnation (the ‘Summer of Love’ version) I had failed to include a full body shot. Simone was like, “They think you’re fat honey. Despite the great collar bones, they think that below the waist you’re hiding something”. Gosh, who knew. But anyway, I’m not here to give tips on how to write online profiles. Clearly. No, I’m just saying that if you’ve had moments of self doubt while online dating, you are not alone. It really is a hot mess out there.
About the only vaguely useful tips about online dating that I can share with you are the following:
1. Men ALWAYS lie about their height (take 2 inches off, at least)
2. Men OFTEN lie about their weight (think The Builder)
3. Men MORE OFTEN THAN NOT lie about their age. Well, mainly the ones in the 40+ bracket. No, it’s not okay to leave your age at what it was when you first signed up 5 years ago. 44 is not 39, okay?
4. The same goes for the photos. Again, not okay.
Now, don’t get me wrong. There are great men to meet online and there are great dates to be had. But keep an open mind and be realistic. A good example is my best girl L, who got online dating last month. The two guys she’s dated so far have turned out to be real winners. The first one was suggesting a threesome the day after their first date, while guy No. 2 was all about ‘movie night’ at his place (9.5 Weeks, no less – his pick). I think she did unwittingly check the ‘Play’ box but still. She’s like, “I’m not sleeping with these men who you just know have been online fucking for forever”. Not that that’s not okay; it just depends what you’re looking for.
So for now my hopelessly flawed online profile is still up. I thought of suing for ‘humiliation and disappointment’ too but I really don’t have the time. Besides, I live in hope that there is still more online man action to come (whatever that may mean).
Happy online dating to you all.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Ms. Purple Date #8: The Professor
Jul 1st
The Professor and I started talking online when he added me to his favorites, and I returned the favor by commenting on his profile. He traveled a lot for his job, so we had made plans two weeks in advance and we emailed each other almost every night before that. By the time we had met, I knew a lot about him, maybe too much. Whatever I didn’t know, google filled in the cracks. I found out he was leaving for the summer to teach at another university and I found information all about his relevant projects. Honestly, I knew too much, period–and for me to play it off like I was just getting to know him was going to be a challenge.
We initially planned for dinner, but every few days or so I’d get an email from my date suggesting alternate plans. He finally asked me to meet for drinks first. I thought, Wow, drinks and dinner? This is going to be a super-long date. What if I don’t like him after the first ten minutes? All you seasoned daters who are reading this can see what my future had in store for me, but I was completely clueless.
When we met he was cuter in person. We talked in the back of the restaurant for a while and he asked me about my job, where I lived, lots of basic questions- something I’m very familiar with as I tend to do that on dates myself. It’s a simple way to avert the attention on yourself, which is something I loath to do.
After we finished our drinks we headed out of the bar, I asked him if he was ready for dinner. He stopped, looked at me, and said, “Oh wow is it 8 already? You know, I’m just not feeling any sparks.”
I stopped for a second. “Huh?” It took me a few seconds to realize that the drink invitation was the test before moving onto dinner, and apparently he didn’t want to continue this date. Wow. Honestly, I wanted to pat my belly and say, “Don’t care! Momma’s hungry!” But I didn’t. So we said our awkward goodbyes and I sat in my car.
The first thing that went through my head is, “What did I do wrong?” Is it universal to immediately think that when someone isn’t interested in you? I think yes.
But when I think back to the guys I didn’t call back after the first date, there were tons of reasons why I didn’t pursue them. I wasn’t physically attracted. His personality wasn’t clicking with mine. He had a twitch. Touché.
So now, having been on the opposite end of the rejection stick, the big question is: do you prefer someone to tell you they’re not interested in you to your face, or would you rather receive the “thanks, but no thanks” email/text afterward? OR, would you rather not receive a call at all?
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Ms. Green Date #13: My Date with Mr. Confidence
Jul 1st
I met Mr. Confidence at a bar when I was out for my best friend’s 30th birthday. He came up to me and a group of my friends and introduced himself. He started chatting with me and asked to get to know me better. Unfortunately, his friends were leaving to go to another bar, so he asked for my number. I was so impressed with his confidence to directly come up to a group of girls, I immediately gave him my number. He texted me a couple hours later apologizing again for leaving so abruptly. I said that he should take me to dinner to make up for it, and he said it would be his pleasure. He called me two days later and we made dinner plans for the following week.
On the night of the date I settled in at our table and waited until he finally arrived minutes later,and out of breath. It was raining and he had no umbrella, so he jogged to the restaurant. The first 10 – 15 minutes were a bit awkward because he was catching his breath and was a little drenched. I think he may have had some jitters too, so it felt good to be the calm and confident one. He looked good — he was bald (my new type!) in a button down black shirt and jeans.
We talked about our weekends, our family, our jobs — all the really good and safe first date topics. It was refreshing to have such light and easy conversation. He was very social and had a great laugh. He’s a fan of Family Guy, which is a show that I absolutely love. The only comment he made relationship-wise was that he is usually attracted to tall, white women with colored eyes, which is me in a nutshell!
At one point during dinner, I guess I had a crumb on my lip and he discreetly let me know by motioning to it on his own lips and I really appreciated that subtle gesture. We later talked about a second date at another that he liked in the neighborhood. The night ended early around 9:30 and with only two glasses of wine! I had a tiring weekend, and couldn’t handle any more liquor! He walked me to my car and gave me a hug and we said we’d be in touch. I definitely would like to go out with him again. He’s very social and lives up to his name. It was a great first date — light and easy, not too long or awkward, and it left me wanting more.
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...UpDate Wednesday: All About His CONFIDENCE
Jul 1st
Update Wednesday took a little break, but now we are back with great dates from Ms. Green and Ms. Purple.
If you ask a woman what are some of the best qualities a man can have, she will always respond confidence in her top three choices. There is just something about a man who knows what he wants and is willing to build a bridge to get there. It’s just so damn sexy! Well for this Update Wednesday it is all about confident men who know what they want. Ms. Green finds her own Mr. Confidence who won’t let a little rain keep him from his object of desire, and we have Ms. Purple who finds a Professor who confidently knows when it just ain’t working.
photo courtesy of www.boards.ie
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