My journey through the dating jungle of Boston and looking good while doing it.
Ms. Green
Ms. Green Date #8: My Date with the Hipster
Apr 8th
He didn’t dress like a hipster in his photos, but he was a full-on hipster when I met him at the bar for drinks. He wore a plaid over-shirt that was well-ironed, tight jeans, a funky hat, and the wallet chain. Again, usually not my type, but I thought he was totally cute. We ordered beers and began chatting. He asked a LOT of questions, and often phrased it as, “Oh, there was something I meant to ask you.” He made a clicking noise a lot with his mouth. I didn’t mind being interviewed, or the clicking really, as I was enjoying our conversation. He maintained a fair amount of eye contact (and you know how I feel about that!) but I did sense he was a little shy.
We talked a lot about our online experiences, and he was interested in hearing my perceptions of things. The greatest advice he gave was that if you’re interested in someones profile, just send them an email and see if they want to meet up. Don’t spend a lot of time emailing back and forth. I think that’s helpful from the guy’s point of view. We nursed our beers FOR AN HOUR. I think that was a first for me.
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When the waitress came by, he didn’t order another, so I didn’t either. We talked for another half hour, and then we got up to pay. He paid for my beer and we walked out. He gave me a hug and said he’d call.
Update: He didn’t call, but I would have gone out with him if he did. I was definitely interested in getting to know him better, but maybe I’m just too square for the hipster! Oh well, on to the next one!
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Loading ...Ms. Green Date #4: My Date(s) with the Dr.
Apr 1st
The doc and I met up at an Irish pub for drinks on a Friday night. My first impression of him was “Yum.” He was exotic-looking, had a nice smile, and was 6’2″. He was well-dressed and definitely a metro. I’m not usually attracted to metro guys, as they tend to be pansies, but I wanted to give him a chance. He told me he likes to shop and he usually drinks wine but decided to try Guinness because I was drinking it. He plays basketball (one point in the manly category), but he also had to get up to use the restroom twice before I did (two more for metro tally). He complimented my eyes and lips, so I knew he was into me. We finished our second round and decided to head out. He walked me to my car and we stood chatting for a bit. He said he would call me when I got back into town (I was heading home for the holidays). He gave me a big, warm embrace, and then kissed me 3 times, from cheek to cheek to cheek. He had spent the early years of his life abroad in Paris. Yum.
We sent a few texts back and forth while I was out of town, and we had two more dates in the following weeks. But on each date he had to be “on call” and had to answer pages. It interrupted the flow of our dates, but I was trying to be understanding.
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I was very attracted to him, so it was on our third date that we took our relationship to the next level. He didn’t spend the night, which my friends screamed was a total faux pas on his part. I was disappointed, but not offended. Perhaps I’m too forgiving a person?
Update: We haven’t had a fourth date. For the past two months, he’s called me, sometimes leaving a message, sometimes not, and he sends texts to see what I’m up to. But if he’s not working, he’s out of town traveling. And when he’s in town, he’s working and I know what those dates are like with him. I think he’s a taker, and I’m looking for more than a one-phone-call-or-text-a-week guy. Or at least someone that can give their full attention to our date.
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(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Ms. Green Date #5: My Date with the Engineer
Apr 1st
The engineer seemed like a really nice guy, but a little shy. We met up for a sushi dinner at a place near my house. The thing I noticed first was that he didn’t look me in the eye much while we were talking. I hoped that he would feel more comfortable as the date went on. I think it was lucky for him that we got seated at the sushi counter so that he could spend most of the date staring straight ahead. Our conversation was “nice,” and he had obviously paid attention during our phone call and emails. When we left, we stopped by his car, as he said he had something for me. He had recently been on a trip to Greece, and, aware of my love for reading, gave me a bookmark he picked up there as a souvenir. I thought it was very sweet of him.
So that’s why I agreed to a second date when he asked me out again. I was hoping that he would get over the whole “not looking me in the eye” thing. I appreciated that he had arranged the whole date for us — dinner at an Indian restaurant and a movie, Slumdog Millionaire.
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I met him at his condo and then he drove us to the restaurant. He continued to spend most of his time staring at my shoes. I was pleased that we got seated right away and ate dinner in time to catch the earlier showing of the movie. The move was GREAT! If you ever anticipate going on a bad date, go see this film! It will be the best part of your date!
The lack of eye contact really started to irritate me now, and I wanted to get out of the date as soon as possible. As we pulled into the parking spot back at his condo, he asked me, “I don’t know if you need to get on the road, but would you like to come in and see my vacation photos?” This was not code word for anything else – trust me – he meant it. I don’t even like seeing vacation photos from some of my friends — and I really like them! I politely refused, stating that I did not want to drive on the road late. There was a hug, but as with the first date, it was one of those really uncomfortable hugs where there was very little physical contact.
I hadn’t even gotten home yet and he had sent me an email that he had a good time and wished me a good weekend. I wrote him back later that weekend, and told him that I didn’t feel any sparks between us and wished him good luck with his dating. He wrote me back again, thanking me for spending two evenings with him, and that he learns something new from each dating experience. So did I – eye contact is critical! Don’t be afraid – just do it!
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(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Green Worst Date: The Note Taker
Mar 25th
My worst date happened just a few weeks ago. We met online, chatted on the phone for about an hour, and then agreed to meet up for drinks a few days later. I arrived to the bar first, and settled in the chairs near the window. He walked in a few minutes later, and with a cursory glance around the place, went straight up to the bar and ordered himself a drink. I went up to him and introduced myself, and he smiled. Damn it! He had a gap tooth — like Madonna, but larger! I should have known something was up when the only photo he posted of himself was him smiling, baring no teeth at all.
He bought me a drink as well and we walked back to the chairs by the window. I noticed that he had a notebook in his hand, like one of those ones you used in college. I thought it was odd, but didn’t have too much time to guess because he began his monologue. Oh yes, he started talking and did not stop. I pride myself on being a rather good conversationalist, but this guy was impossible. He talked slowly and tangentially, and I had no idea where he was going with the “conversation.”
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Half-way through his monologue, he opened his notebook, took out his pen, and asked me what stories I had. He was ready to take notes. Did I forget to mention that he was also enrolled in a comedy college for fun? He was learning how to tell jokes and be “more” funny than he already was. After I politely refused to tell him stories so that he could take notes and then use my material later, he then proceeded to show me notes from one of his previous dates. He and his date came up with a story based on three characters: a carrot, a potato, and a celery stalk. It sounded to me like a base for a good soup, not a story.
I only had one drink, not nearly enough alcohol to forget about this date. How on earth did I end up spending two hours listening to this guy?!?! I didn’t know how to politely extract myself from the date, and I didn’t see how much time had passed. I hope that no other dates are as dull as this one was, but in the meantime, I think I need to arm myself with ways to get out of a bad date. I’m open to suggestions!
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(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Ms. Green Date #4: My Date(s) with the Dr.
Mar 18th
The doc and I met up at an Irish pub for drinks on a Friday night. My first impression of him was “Yum.” He was exotic-looking, had a nice smile, and was 6’2″. He was well-dressed and definitely a metro. I’m not usually attracted to metro guys, as they tend to be pansies, but I wanted to give him a chance. He told me he likes to shop and he usually drinks wine but decided to try Guinness because I was drinking it. He plays basketball (one point in the manly category), but he also had to get up to use the restroom twice before I did (two more for metro tally). He complimented my eyes and lips, so I knew he was into me. We finished our second round and decided to head out. He walked me to my car and we stood chatting for a bit. He said he would call me when I got back into town. He gave me a big, warm embrace, and then kissed me 3 times, from cheek to cheek to cheek. He had spent the early years of his life abroad in Paris. Yum.
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We sent a few texts back and forth while I was out of town, and we had two more dates in the following weeks. But on each date he had to be “on call” and had to answer pages. It interrupted the flow of our dates, but I was trying to be understanding. I was very attracted to him, so it was on our third date that we took our relationship to the next level. He didn’t spend the night, which my friends screamed was a total faux pas on his part. I was disappointed, but not offended. Perhaps I’m too forgiving a person?
Update: We haven’t had a fourth date. For the past two months, he’s called me, sometimes leaving a message, sometimes not, and he sends texts to see what I’m up to. But if he’s not working, he’s out of town traveling. And when he’s in town, he’s working and I know what those dates are like with him. I think he’s a taker, and I’m looking for more than a one-phone-call-or-text-a-week guy. Or at least someone that can give their full attention to our date.
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(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Ms. Green Date #3: My Date with the Cop
Mar 18th
The cop and I had instant chemistry. We talked on the phone several times before we met and our conversations were always full of laughter. He normally worked late shifts during the week, and I was going out of town for an event in a few days, so he took a comp day from work for our date. He said he had to do some homework during the day anyways, as he was studying for some Cop exam. He offered to pick me up and take us to whatever restaurant I wanted to go to.
He picked me up at my apartment at 7:00pm. At first, I thought it was a tow truck or the UPS truck making a late delivery, but then I realized it was his huge truck. It must have been 20 feet long and sounded like a bulldozer coming down my block. I was instantly worried if we’d be able to park that thing anywhere. I don’t live in the burbs!
He was a perfect gentleman and helped me up into his truck. There was definitely a physical attraction and the best way I can describe him is that he looked like a younger Michael Chicklis. We settled into a corner table in the restaurant, apart from the other diners. It took about 20 minutes for us to decide on a wine and appetizer, as we were jabbering the whole time.
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In my true Libra fashion, I couldn’t decide between two dishes on the menu. The Cop was favoring one of the same dishes and made me a deal. He would get that dish, and I could get the other one I wanted, and I could have some of his. It was sweet, and really pleased my Libra heart. Dinner was fantastic and the conversation continued to be great. When the bill came, he reached for it and said, “I’d like to pay for this if you don’t mind.” Nope! Not at all!
We went for a couple of drinks afterwards at the dive bar across the street. I love that he chose the dive bar over the fancier lounge. So my type! We sat and chatted over another two rounds of beers. I tried to pay for the second round (like for real!), but he wouldn’t let me. “You can get it next time, if there will be a next time?” he asked. “Definitely,” was my honest response.
He drove me back to my house, and parked alongside the driveway. He walked me to my apartment building door, and then there was just a kiss on the cheek and a hug. I definitely wouldn’t have minded more! He said that he would call me in a few days and check in with me during my trip. It was by far the best first date I’ve had so far.
Update: He did call me three days later, and we chatted for almost 20 minutes. The conversation was great as always and we sent a few texts back and forth during subsequent days. I was out of town for over a week, and when I got back, I didn’t hear from him, even though he knew when I was coming back. No texts, no calls, nothing. I did not get it! We had such a good time on our date, and it seemed obvious from the call & texts afterwards that he was still interested, right? So what gives? So I called him and asked him out again. Perhaps this is forbidden by a certain book/movie that is currently popular, but I needed closure. I left him a voicemail, and then he sent me a text message: “Got your message. Glad to hear from you. I’m at a football game right now, but will shoot you a call later.” I never heard from him again, and it’s a bummer because I had a good time, but I guess he wasn’t interested.
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(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Ms. Green Date #2: My Date with the Geek
Mar 13th
All my friends thought I was crazy to accept a date with the geek to go up to the wine country. Six hours I would be with him, they warned me! By the time you get up there, hit 2-3 wineries, and then drive back. I saw it as an adventure though, and plus, I love wine. Worst-case scenario, I would ditch him and make a friend drive to pick me up.
I arrived to his house and rang the wrong doorbell, but lucky for me, I got to meet his landlord, Floozy. I learned later that she likes to bring men home from the bar across the street, and yes, that is her real name. The geek was much smaller overall in person and I had already been wearing flat shoes because he’s my height.
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The geek was more outgoing than most geeks, and we talked about our families, work, and music on the drive up. He was social and friendly with the people at the wineries, and the conversation never felt awkward, but it wasn’t exciting either. We stopped for a late lunch, and we split the bill. I am a modern woman in some things, but I do still appreciate when a man pays on the first date. I had only “made” like I was pulling out my wallet so that he would say, “Oh no, that’s ok, I got it.” But instead he said, “Oh, do you want to split it? Ok then…” Is that because he’s 26 and hasn’t dated enough? It reaffirmed the feeling I had all along – there were no sparks and everything was just “nice.”
Except for the fact that when he dropped me and my two wine carriers off, he didn’t help me carry the wine to my car. I’m sorry, boys, but it’s common courtesy to help someone carry things to their car if both their hands are full and yours are not. He kissed me on the cheek and I gave him a hug and never heard from him again. I think it was a mutual feeling that we were not into each other.
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(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Ms. Green Date #1: The Comical Mash
Mar 13th
I met G. online at eHarmony. We went through the open and close-ended question and answer phase online, and then had a phone call. He talked a lot and fast, but I thought that perhaps it was just nerves. We decided to meet up a few days later at a bar in the city. On the way into the city, he sent me a text: “Hey Ms. Green! The craziest thing happened to me today! I will tell you the story tonight!” I was intrigued – I always love a good story. I arrived to the bar first; he showed up just a minute or so after me. Unfortunately, his online picture was definitely more flattering than the real thing. We grabbed a drink and sat down and started chatting. A recent transplant from DC, he did some type of consultant work out here, but I’m still not exactly sure what he does. He had a lot of energy and definitely talked a lot, but asked enough questions about me that he didn’t totally dominate the conversation.
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Eventually I asked him about his “crazy” story. Apparently, he had gone to the gym that day and went to Starbucks afterwards. He was sitting down drinking his coffee when this guy came up to him and started hitting on him. G. couldn’t understand why the guy was hitting on him — I mean, he was in his workout clothes, you know, just like workout pants and a mesh tank top. It was just “so crazy!” Sigh, I knew things weren’t going to get better after that point.
I decided I wanted another drink so we went to another bar nearby. After ordering drinks, he decided that it would be fun if we played a game. He grabbed a coaster and started asking me questions and writing down answers. I soon realized that we were playing an adult version of every young girl’s favorite game, MASH. Here were the questions he asked me:
1. You are in a room with all black walls and a white door. Name 3 adjectives to describe how you feel.
2. Name 3 adjectives to describe your favorite color.
3. Name 3 adjectives to describe your favorite animal.
4. You are on a beach looking out onto the horizon. Name 3 adjectives to describe how you feel.
The answers corresponded to:
1. How you view death
2. How you see yourself.
3. How others see you.
4. How you view sex.
After that, he put his hand on my leg and I decided that it was time to go home. On the walk back to my car, he showed me a picture on his iPhone from when he sliced his hand cooking and there was blood everywhere. Was that supposed to do something for me?! He walked me back to my car and I offered him a lift to his place. There were lots of hills and I’m a nice person. There was a hug and he mentioned dinner at this restaurant, but I avoided any sort of verbal committment to a future date.
Overall, he was a nice guy, but I was just not into him. But I’ve been out of the dating game for a long time and it was a good first date to get back into things.
Follow-up: He sent me a couple of texts after our date, but I wasn’t interested in going out again and he stopped texting. Match closed!
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